Selma Blair – surviving a monstrous mother

Actress Selma Blair has written “a jaw-flooring memoir of alcoholism, suicide attempts, being raped, multiple times” and getting a late diagnosis of multiple sclerosis which explained symptoms she had suffered for decades. Titled Mean Baby: A Memoir of Growing Up she describes herself as arriving in the world scowling. Having been landed with the family label she set out to fulfil the legend taking to alcohol aged 7, promising herself she would be “the best alcoholic a girl can be,”  and acting out venomously and at times violently. Her first boyfriend died at college and after a split from her second she attempted suicide.  Her blackout drinking led to multiple rapes and she only gave up when she had a young child a few years back.

  Born 23 June 1972 8.45am Southfield, Michigan, she was the youngest of four daughters of the ‘dazzling, ambitious but acid-tongued judge Molly Ann Beitner.’ Her mother often told her how she’d wanted to have her aborted and didn’t expect her to amount to anything. And when little Selma admitted to feeling sad and anxious, her mother assured her that if things ever got too bad the pair of them could go out to the garage, run a hose from the exhaust into the window, and stop breathing together. What is astonishing is that she “studied and revered” her mother, describing her as beloved when she died.  

 Selma is a Sun Cancer opposition Jupiter in Capricorn in her performing 5th house square Pluto – such a strong Jupiter would be one of her saving graces, since it inculcates optimism when dark clouds close in. The Jupiter Pluto will make her a rule-breaker.

   It is her Moon aspects which are eye-dropping and savage. A 4th house Scorpio Moon conjunct Neptune trines a 12th house Mars South Node sextile Pluto – and that describes one dysfunctional and unpleasant mother.  

  Her mother Molly Ann Breitner, 25 January 1938, was a confident Venus Sun Jupiter in Aquarius in a controlling opposition to Pluto. Her Pluto was trine a cruel, hard-edged Mara Saturn conjunction probably trine a Scorpio Moon. Like her daughter she was saved from debilitating depression and the effects of destructive mothering from the generation before by her strong Jupiter and Pluto.

 Their relationship chart was understandably aggravated to an extreme degree with an afflicted and integral angry Mars.  And down the generations the family pattern rolls until someone stops and unpicks the negative chain.

  At the moment Selma Blair has Jupiter moving through her 8th which is often a time of clearing out the past and opening up a brighter future so the book may act as a release and bring new understandings. What a depressing story though I suppose she has pulled herself out of it.

12 thoughts on “Selma Blair – surviving a monstrous mother

  1. My two cents: Sun 90 Uranus can be extremely manipulative in a female chart. Sun 90 Pluto always power thirsty (man and female).
    On the subject.
    Unfortunately, met few people wit serious debilitating chronic autoimmune diseases. Many of them had Luna in IV House conjunct Saturn, square Pluto… some even inconjunct Neptune. Not a single happy childhood, thanks to parents, enough money, but not enough attention/love/care. All fine and dandy from the outside, but freezing hell or psychological torture in the house. Most of them are female – one can hardly walk, not capable to work and take care for her self.
    Selma, may the force be with you!

    Marjorie, thank you for this one!

  2. I have MS, also late diagnosed because it was dismissed as my imagination, despite classic symptoms so that I too doubted my sanity. My mum has Mars square Saturn, and Venus conjunct Pluto in Cancer square Uranus.

  3. Interesting to see the critical final degree Pluto in Virgo (health) in the second house which is represents the immediate physical realm, sensory experiences, self-worth and so on.

  4. I know many people who are purging themselves of their genetic connections. Is this part of the bigger picture that finally, the generational patterns are being purged?

    I understand generational trauma, not only on a large scale but on an individual, is there something in the stars that suggests that this is happening everywhere to allow us to face not only our own trauma but also that of our ancestors?

    Kudos to Selma, life is to be lived.

    • The key to breaking the chain of intergenerational trauma is awareness/consciousness. Freud and Jung may have had their flaws but the effect of their work has been profound.
      There was a study done of several generations of a wildly dysfunctional family – alcohol, drugs, physical and sexual abuse. What they found was that those who could face up to the ghastly reality of their childhood shook off the destructive patterns and became different kinds of parents to their kids. Whereas those who blithely proclaimed they had a lovely childhood with great parents were much more likely to continue the abuse with their own kids.
      The most pervasive false memory is ‘the way things never way’. Painting a pretty picture over the past merely leads to the same mistakes being repeated.
      Those who don’t remember the past accurately are condemned to repeat it.

    • “I know many people who are purging themselves of their genetic connections”

      I am one of them and it’s a lot of continuous work.

      But these behaviours I inherited are no longer viable and must be purged. I don’t feel I ever had a choice about it. It’s necessary. It’s evolution. I feel like I came to earth to help purge this energy out from the bloodline.

      Great comments.

      • Oh, JY, I know what you mean. I am also not willing to continue the legacy of my ancestors. I feel the same way, this is part of my journey on the earth, I am the end of the line, I do not want to pass this on to my children or their children.

        It is frightening, overwhelming but I can see how far I have come. I am grateful for the experience. If it makes my world a better place and me a better human, it is so worth it.

        Keep up the work, JY, you are so worth it.

        • Thanks, Margo. You too!

          My family’s patterns manifest in ways that are subterranean.

          I lost many years simply trying to figure out what those patterns actually were.

          My father completely denied his role in doing this evolutionary work, and there is more for me (his only son) to do.

          But with this work, one knows what they have to do – and so it just gets done. Eventually!

          That said, it was nice to be reminded that there are indeed others out there who are also years deep into this work.

      • Purging is a very harsh term that suggests a kind of moral crusade on yourself.
        As opposed to just allow and acknowledge them as experience in the mosaic of experiences in your life.
        No need to act them out. The more one tries to eliminate parts of oneself the more likely
        they will come back to bite.

  5. The article has given me a lot of food for thought. I too am a Cancer sun and Scorpio moon with a lot of positive and negative aspects, and I too had a difficult relationship with my mother. I can relate to many of Selma’s thoughts and feelings though I rarely acted them out – probably due to the steadying influence of my father. Where is the father in Selma’s life?

    Just one thought on Meghan v the Queen. You state in ‘The Queen and Meghan – chalk and cheese’ that Meghan was sixth in the pecking order when she worked with the ‘Suits’ team. I noticed that Harry is sixth in line to the throne. Meghan may have thought she had ‘got one over’ on her former colleagues but she found herself in the same hierarchical position at the British Court.

    Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose

  6. I thanks Marjorie, sounds like a very interesting read.

    The recent lunar eclipse conjunct her Scorpio moon which is in line with her revealing the story of her difficult childhood and mother.

  7. I’d love to hear more about the controlling Sun opposite Pluto. A few of the famous women you’ve analysed seem to have this aspect and it sounds like quite a heavy cross to bear.

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