Relationships – where there is control there is not love ++ 12th harmonic

Coercive control has come into the relationship lexicon in recent years and onto the criminal statute book as controlling and threatening behaviour has become an offence. More women are coming forward to be open about their experiences which has a knock-on effect as it alerts other sufferers that their marital experiences are neither normal nor acceptable.

Ruth Dodsworth, a Welsh broadcaster and weather presenter, has been talking of her fears as her bullying ex-husband is about to be released from a three year prison sentence for coercive control and stalking. They were married for 18 years with two children and he conducted a campaign of domination, verbal and physical abuse which so eroded her self-esteem she didn’t recognize what was happening. It was her teenage children who eventually made her see sense and leave.

  She was born 21 May 1975 in Worthing, England, and has a Yod of a final degree Taurus Sun conjunct South Node sextile Mars inconjunct Uranus. Such a Uranus should have made her rebellious and a trailblazer but her Mars opposes Pluto Moon in Libra; and her Pluto Moon are square Venus in Cancer conjunct Pluto – so her childhood experience would make her battened down and fearful. Lack of emotional nurturing and subsequent low self-worth would make her susceptible to the ’love bombing’ that went on in the courtship to persuade her to get hitched.

  Her ex-husband, a former nightclub owner Jonathan Wignall, 17 May 1966 (Companies House), is also a late Taurus Sun. In his case his Sun is closely conjunct the destructive Fixed star Algol and the North Node and Mars in ultra-determined Taurus as well, all of which are in a hard-edged sextile to Saturn, a slippery opposition to Neptune. His Mars is also in an angry and controlling trine to Uranus Pluto. That is some chart –  massively stubborn, relentlessly obsessive, possessive and volcanic. His childhood background which isn’t known would also be hair-raising.

  Their relationship chart is also a wonder to behold with an affectionate composite Sun Venus conjunction also conjunct an up-and-down Jupiter Saturn conjunction – all trine Pluto. What was worse is a composite Yod onto Mars inconjunct Pluto sextile Neptune.  Locked together in a maelstrom of love and hate, high enthusiasm, harsh criticism and over control.

  Sally Challen who was initially was given a life sentence for murdering her over controlling and philandering husband in 2010 but eventually released after an appeal on the grounds of his coercive control, was born 27 July 1964. She has a Leo Sun square Saturn and Mars trine Pluto – so two of the same markers as Ruth Dodsworth – a Saturnine dented self-esteem and a childhood experience from Mars Pluto of dominating masculinity. Her father, a soldier died when she was young. She still insisted she loved and missed her husband even after she killed him.

  These relationships are not simple.

Add ON: Both Ruth Dodsworth and Sally Challen have strong 12th Harmonic charts – 12 being the number of sacrifice. Being sacrificed or becoming a victim to other persons’ (or entities’) plans, ambitions or intrigues. 12 warns against being a victim of circumstances, or dragged into other people’s affairs where you will be the one suffering the consequences. 12 may also make a conscious sacrifice. It can ultimately become the healer.

7 thoughts on “Relationships – where there is control there is not love ++ 12th harmonic

  1. The composite Chart between Ruth Dogsworth and Johnathan Wignall, has Chiron square their Moon, with Chiron/Moon midpoint on their Sun/ Venus midpoint. The wound that never heals. Their Moon/Saturn midpoint is on their Mercury in Gemini. Controlling by language and emotions. Saturn is also on their Moon/ Mars midpoint. A daily grind with both heavily involved. Aries/Taurus and Cancer all involved. Meaning the self,love and home. Is was quite a turmoil of love, control and power. It is difficult to see this completely being resolved.

  2. Abusers in my experience are like bloodhounds. One simply can’t be an effective or useful abuser if one can’t identify and exploit the weaknesses or frailties of others.

    We are human and we all have pains and healing to undergo. But only the abuser will use this knowledge to his or her advantage.

    Over the years, I’ve severed several abusive cycles by knowing more about my damage than the abuser did.

    In fact, I was first made aware of my frailties and sore points via the presence of my abusers. My abusers were the beginning of me creating a deeper relationship with pained parts of myself that I just couldn’t identify or reach on my own. They don’t teach this stuff in school!

    That’s how I have used my abusers for my own gain.

  3. So true Chris- from my own perspective, perhaps we feel that if we were what the abuser wants us to be, or moreover if they liked us- they would be kind. It doesn’t work of course and we head on into adulthood feeling unacceptable, constantly seeking acceptance and approval outside.
    Self acceptance and self approval are hard won, if we have let more abusive energy into our lives.

  4. I had a very good college professor for Sociology of Marriage and Family. He showed us the film “The Burning Bed.” Apparently it is an accurate depiction of a woman who, like Sally Chalen, ultimately murdered a violent, cruel, abusive husband.

    The professor said to the class, “I want you to notice the scene where he says he’s changed and she takes him back, but then he starts hitting her again and she just takes it. Why do you think she would do that?”

    It was my first awareness of how some people (men too, but worse for women) can have an association where love and home means, this is where I get hurt. The idea that they could give up getting hurt, and still have love and home, just doesn’t add up for them.

    Saddest part is that it’s the victim who has to do a lot of deep pyschological healing work in order to get free inside their own mind first, and then to move on with their life.

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