Erica Jong, an icon of second wave feminism wrote an autobiographical novel Fear of Flying which made her famous in 1973. Her candid depiction of women’s sexual desires was shocking at the time, boosting its sales to 20m copies. John Updike compared it to The Catcher in the Rye and Portnoy’s Complaint.
Her daughter Molly Jong-Fast has written a poignantly sad, insightful and strangely witty memoir about her mother, now suffering from dementia, and her own disjointed childhood.
“My mother was a famous feminist writer known for her candour and wit. But she was also a fantasist who couldn’t be bothered to spend time raising me.”
“My mother coined an expression for casual sex: the “zipless fuck”. Now think about being the offspring of the person who wrote that sentence.”
“The reason I knew Mom was a liar was because her story always changed. Sometimes it was one thing, then sometimes it was an entirely different story. This shifting reality, this strange post-truth ecosystem she inhabited, and that for a time I inhabited, too, made me completely unable to know what was real and what was a lie with her. It was a kind of gaslighting by proxy, like Munchausen syndrome, but somehow much, much stupider.”
“ My glamorous mom didn’t believe in the rules. Rules were for boring, unfamous people who balanced their cheque books. Rules were for normal people. My mother was not normal, nor did she want to be.”
“Between her divorce from my father (husband No 3) and her marriage to my stepfather (husband No 4), there were numerous fiances. I couldn’t help but envision each one as a possible father.”
“I had spent my entire life trying to get away from the loneliness of being abandoned by my parents.”
Erica Jong, born 26 March 1942 10.25 am New York, is an Aries Sun on the cusp of her 11th trine Pluto. With Venus in Aquarius conjunct her Midheaven from the 9th in a chilly, unpredictable square to Saturn Uranus in her 12th. Aquarius being a favourite sign of writers who focus on sex. Her Cancer Moon in her financial 2nd is the middle point of a trine between Saturn Uranus in Taurus trine a 4th house Neptune in Virgo. She also had a high-vitality, super-enthusiastic Mars Jupiter conjunct in Gemini in her 12th just above her Descendant.
Such a strong and troubled 12th house would need a degree of self-awareness to function well as a parent and her 4th house North Node hints strongly about the need to build solid emotional foundations rather than aim sky high for inflated ambitions. Clearly neither happened.
Erica Jong’s own mother Eda Mirsky, 10 December 1911, a painter and designer, was a complicated mix with her daughter. Eda had a Sagittarius Sun and Leo Moon which fitted well; but her Saturn and Mars in Taurus clashed badly with Erica’s Saturn Uranus conjunction. Down the generations it comes.
Molly Jong-Fast, born 19 August 1978, five years after Fear of Flying was published, now herself a novelist, journalist and political commentator, had a loving and protective nanny but that did not help her avoid obsessive-compulsive disorder, bulimia and an alcohol and cocaine addiction as she lurched through the constant chaos of her mother’s fame, remarriage, lovers and alcoholism. After rehab at 19, she has stayed sober since.
She is a Sun Leo conjunct Saturn in early Virgo with a super-determined Mars, Venus, Pluto conjunction in Libra and a sensitive Pisces Moon maybe square Neptune, trine Uranus and inconjunct Pluto. Emotionally fraught with bereft Moon issues.
Her relationship with her mother will be conflicted since Molly’s Jupiter is conjunct Erica’s Moon for forgiveness and good feelings. But Molly’s Leo Sun is square Erica’s Saturn Uranus making her feeling rejected and blocked out. Great and not so great.
She does seem to have risen above or rather worked her way through the chaos of her childhood to become perceptive and able to regard it with a degree of irony and wit.
Her mother sadly never seemed to recover from her later days of not being famous any longer.
“How to Lose Your Mother” by Molly Jong-Fast
Confabulation, involves creating stories or memories that are not based in reality. Individuals with dementia may honestly believe these fabricated stories are true and may not be aware of the inaccuracies. ~Google Ai
Me as a layman may see something as lying but the person might be sick. Years ago I even wonder which is the cause and which is the fruit.
Molly Jones had transit Uranus in Taurus conjunct her Chiron in 2021. This book just might be a fruit of that. And I am quite suspicious since no birth time was given there just might be a Moon opposite Saturn.
I was curious and googled her father and based on Wiki birth date is another Sun Aries.
As a fellow Sun Aries, Gemini ascendent I do realised that I do not want to be normal like the rest. But I never feel I am “lucky” enough to escape the rules and law.
Erica Jong’s also has a Pluto at 163 degree from Venus. (that obsessive degree).
This looks like an interesting book to put into my to read list.
My former neighbour, who is now dead- used to talk about her son. It took me ages to realise that he didn’t exist. And she thought of her daughter as still being a little girl, when in reality she was a middle-aged woman with teenage children. You took what she said with a pinch of salt.
She was cared for by her sister who lived across the street. The two women couldn’t stand each other. Anyway my neighbour who had Alzheimers, finally agreed after many years, to go into a home where she died shortly afterwards.
One morning the sister turned on her gas hob and didn’t check to see that it had lit and blew up her house. It turned out that she had Alzheimers as well. She died soon after. Though I don’t know if it was from shock or her burns. My neighbour’s family had taken steps to make sure that her gas appliances were removed, and her car taken away, but as nobody knew that her sister had Alzheimers, none of that was done. My husband phoned the emergency services, and the fire brigade wouldn’t come out unless another person reported it. Unbelievable! So we had to ask another neighbour to phone it in. This was in the day before we had mobile phones. Anyway he phoned it in and was looking after the paper-boy who had just delivered a newspaper to the house when it blew up.
Fantasy and dementia may go hand in hand, but it helps if you actually know that. All too often it just doesn’t present itself in any clear-cut way.
What a compelling share, Linda.
Thank you.
Thanks Marjorie. Interesting to see Jong’s mother’s natal chart too. A 70s childhood seems so liberal in many ways compared to these times, pethaps too liberal. My own mother had a copy of Jong’s book as did many of my friend’s parents at the time. ‘The Joy of Sex’ was another one.
A strong Aquarius signature in a chart can make for off beat, predictably unpredictable, mothers.
Agree and same in 5th house as it rules children and seemingly both parent and child find each other unpredictable.
I find these parental tell all books that pour out of the States, sordid and in this case cruel exploitative and unfair, given her mother is in the most vulnerable state and has no right of reply.
I actually think it takes immense courage to expose oneself to criticism by shedding light to the inner dynamics of our upbringing and home lives. I am definitely going to read this book & watch the film. I do however also see the ambivalence of writing about a (perhaps overpowering) mom, who cannot respond anymore.
It might be an attempt to help pay for her mum’s care and medical bills.
This soaring star triptych has sent me hunting for more. Wanted to share this Molly quote (that last line especially):
“Taffy Brodesser-Akner has written the Erica Jong biopic, which is a dream. I haven’t read the script, but I’m sure it’s amazing. And Amanda Seyfried is attached to play my mom, Rebecca Hall is going to direct it, and Steven Soderbergh is producing. All my mom ever wanted was a movie. I think she’s too out of it to know, but I will be delighted for her.”
Thank you for shifting another glum day into a secret/not-so-secret feline goldmine.