Riotous, unconventional, reckless lives are entertaining between the pages of a novel but the emotional damage they wreak is undeniable.
Diana Melly, wife of the flamboyant jazz singer, journalist and libertine George Melly with whom she shared an open marriage that survived for “45 long years” has died aged 87.
She was born 26 July 1937 in Southampton (no birth time) with a philanderer father and farmed out to a convent aged 4, then a godmother, leaving school early and working as a hostess in a cabaret club. By the time she met George Melly in 1961 she was 24, married to her second husband and the mother of two children. Her eldest son Patrick was sent to a creche each day, often left at home alone and when he was two, was sent to live with her aunt in Essex and barely saw him again until he was six. He ultimately died of a heroin overdose aged 24.
George Melly, 17 August 1926 9.15am Liverpool, was bisexual, sexually voracious and an epic drinker with a drug habit. As he tired of monogamy after their marriage he encouraged her to have an affair with a handsome 18-year-old school dropout while on holiday in France. Later in her mid-thirties, she took up with a blond drug addict of 17, amongst many others.
She was a Sun Leo conjunct Pluto, a hint of a controlling and often absent father over whom she had no sway. Her Venus in frivolous Gemini was on the focal point of a strained yod inconjunct Mars in Scorpio sextile Jupiter in Capricorn. Her Saturn in forced-to-be-self-reliant Aries was trine her Sun. Her Pisces Moon may have been opposition Neptune.
There was a hint of passionate attraction in the synastry with George Melly, his Venus in late Cancer conjunct her Pluto and Sun. But her Uranus fell in his 8th house conjunct his subterranean Mars in Taurus which could stir up difficult feelings and erupt from time time to time in explosive arguments. Her Mars in Scorpio was also conjunct his Saturn which is an aggravating interface. Her Saturn in his 7th would produce loyalty and a sense of endurance with a joint interest in business – and she evidently looked after his administration. Her Chiron was exactly conjunct his midheaven so there would be a sense of coming together for each to heal wounds of the past.
George Melly, had a creative and entertaining Sun Neptune conjunction in Leo opposition Jupiter in his performing 5th house and square Saturn in Scorpio – the Neptune could explain his drug/drink habits and he would certainly have his down times with a Saturn square. His volatile 8th house Mars in Taurus was square Mercury and widely opposition his Saturn which would also be a drive of his turbulent behaviour. His Uranus in his 7th trine Venus points to a need for emotional freedom; whereas his 10th house Pluto in addition to give him influence made him controlling. A complicated man.
Their relationship chart had a boisterous composite Sun Mercury opposition Jupiter Mars; and a harder Saturn (Moon) opposition Pluto square Uranus making for periodic upheavals as well as a sense of being chained together and resenting it.
Bound together by their dysfunction.
I remember watching a film about the love life of poet Philip Larkin who remained single but had three mistresses. While in hospital where he was being operated on for the oesophageal cancer which would eventually take his life, he awoke to find all three – Monica Jones, Maeve Brennan and Betty Mackereth – attending his bedside and he looked up at them and exclaimed: ‘Christ, it’s like being in a French farce!’.
But what a sad, lonely, short life Diana’s son had? Diana had a mental breakdown in the aftermath of his death. I liked George Melly for his larger than life persona and his interest and promotion of Surrealist art, but would run for the hills rather than be married to such a personality. The open marriage can look glamorous, bohemian and fun from a distance, but it’s rarely without some pain and heartache for at least one of the participants. Take a look at that of Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer which has recently been in the news.
I was reading today about Dr. Alex Comfort, the author of the book, ‘The Joy of Sex’. There is currently a movie being made about his life and loves. He had a three way relationship with his wife’s best friend and eventually left his marriage to marry his lover moving to California to pursue the libertine lifestyle he believed would change Society for the good. He believed that sex would be an antidote to war, that it would bring about a revolution and free humanity from all its woes. And lo, he has a Jupiter/Neptune conjunction in Leo with his Jupiter just opposing an Aquarius Sun which is otherwise unaspected and a self-absorbed water Grand Trine with Moon/Mars conjunct in Scorpio trine Pluto in Cancer and Uranus in Pisces. Inevitability, his NN is in Scorpio. His Moon/Mars squares that Leo Jupiter/Neptune conjunction. Because Leo/Aqua, Jupiter, Neptune and the Sun feature in these configurations a lot as they do with individuals who can have a tendency for ego inflation and impractical notions of relationships.
*correction – having looked it up, there were actually two of Larkin’s mistresses at his deathbed – Monica and Maeve. Betty had predeceased him. But Maeve and Monica were first introduced at Larkin’s deathbed as they knew of each other, but had never met.
Same with George Melly. His mistesses all gathered around him as he was dying, including the flamboyant Molly Parkin. It must have been tough for Diana.
I read her Obituary. It was astonishingly sad, as she repeated her own rejection with her eldest children. Her first son dying at (24?) from drugs. The backdrop may have been avant garde, yet the reality for the family must have been devastating. Perhaps her Pluto in Cancer represented her mother’s treatment? Which she then repeated. Her Sun in Leo would also represent a creative man. I wonder if the recent Pluto opposition in Capricorn, brought back memories or even forced her to revisit her own children and childhood? In their composite chart the Moon/Saturn conjunction in the fourth house in Capricorn. This could have been a constant reminder of living with rejection? As, apparently. George Melly brought home some of his lovers – living under the same roof as Diana. The obituary garnered some very strong comments – with many feeling incredibly sad for the children. It made pretty grim reading for the reality of her life and how family patterns repeat themselves.
Agree last line ..weird that despite trying everything consciously by the parent, child still lives the same pattern ..i have observed it in many families-celeb and family and relatives.
Hard to say what works and the reason how some children don’t fall in that pattern and some do…that’s Nature’s mystery, as the wise comfort