Damian Hurley, model, actor and now film producer, son of Liz, celebrated his 22nd birthday amid a hullabaloo over him directing his mother in lesbian sex scenes in a film he wrote himself. Both say it is a fuss about nothing. He commented ‘For most people it would be inconceivable for their perfectly normal moms to do the scene, but for us it’s business.’ She said it “felt totally normal”.
They have had an unusually close relationship with his father businessman Steve Bing denying paternity until forced to take a DNA test and his childhood spent partly with his mother’s partners, Indian businessman Arun Nayar and then the Australian former cricketer Steve Warne. He said his mother taught him about sex at a “ludicrously young” age, and was more like a sibling to him than a parent. He often takes her bikini shots which feature on her Instagram page; and they often borrow each other’s clothes.
Damian was born 4 April 2002 12.22pm London, with a 10th house Sun Mercury in Aries as well as Venus and Mars (not conjunct) in Taurus. The 10th house refers to mother; and the Sun there, according to Liz Greene, suggests an individual destined to live out their mother’s ambitions, not necessarily their own, with an underlying emptiness about what they want for themselves. It often occurs in showbiz personalities or those destined to live a ‘public’ life. Venus in the 10th is charming, good at public relations.
His Mars in earthy, determined Taurus is in a volatile square to Uranus in the 8th house of sexuality and joint finances.
His Saturn in the 11th is in an unyielding opposition to an attention-demanding 5th house Pluto conjunct South Node. His Venus in indulgent Taurus is in a fashion-biz sextile to Jupiter and square to a filmic though uncommitted relationship-wise Neptune in his 7th.
His hard working 6th house Capricorn Moon is conjunct Chiron square his Sun, trine Venus, inconjunct Saturn, opposition Jupiter. Which is a complex set of Moon aspects.
Moon Chiron hints at mother being a significant issue with the individual feeling compelled to mother the mother to make her happy and comfort her. In some cases to become like a substitute husband. Moon square Sun – split parents. Moon trine Venus – what Richard Idemon called ‘the poisoned apple’ of sexual attraction being muddled up with the maternal bond. Moon inconjunct Saturn and opposition Jupiter – lacking warmth and compensated by over indulging.
His Sun/Moon midpoint, the close partner significator, is conjunct his 8th house Uranus so he is likely to follow his mother’s pattern of revolving-door relationships.
Their synastry is not as cosy as the publicity pics suggest with her Gemini Sun, Mercury, Jupiter square Uranus, Pluto, Mars in Virgo squaring his Pluto opposition Saturn. Her chaotic, over excitable temperament undoubtedly stiffened his spine, making him develop strength and endurance to cope. But left its mark.
Their relationship chart is even starker. There is an over-hopeful composite Jupiter opposition Neptune which will help to sweep grittier feelings under the carpet. But the composite Pluto opposition Saturn square Mars hints at a one sided relationship which has an undertow of anger and resentment.
In an interview he said he and his mother are “extraordinarily alike” in general and “apart from having the same face, we are really, really in tune”. “We are very, very similar.” “We are twin-like.”
Hmm.
He’s got a tr Uranus about to conjunct his Mars this May and then square his Uranus come August onwards – so a jangled, risky year ahead and a tough three or four years to follow with a blocked, frustrating Solar Arc Mars opposition his Pluto in 2026; an intense SA Pluto conjunct his 6th house Moon in 2027 and a lacklustre SA Sun square his Neptune in 2028.
I find the whole thing rather creepy tbh.
So now I’m intrigued about how she got on with Hugh, Bing, and Nayar. And what is Damien’s with Bing.
In a sense Damian was a trophy baby. I seem to recall that Liz was dumped by his father, Steve Bing, but got back together with him for a few months and became pregnant. Bing then denied paternity until it was proved that he was the father. I remember thinking at the time that there was no way that Liz would say that he was the father if he wasn’t. It had a tinge of revenge about it. She made a big deal about Damian being her son and as we know, she kept him close. I think she refused child support payments.
I wish him well. The buried anger bit is worrying. He has a heavy load to carry.
I think the acid test will be what happens if/when he starts to think seriously about having a partner. With that Scorpio moon, I’d expect Liz to get a bit jealous and her Gemini trickster to find ways to sabotage it. I think he will find it impossible to set a boundary and prioritise the relationship with the partner and Liz will keep intruding on it.
DH has a Mars novile Mercury.
From Practiced Ignorance WordPress Blog:
Nineness is experiencing Ego, watching him create chaos and conflict—and smiling ever so widely and gently.
Novile aspect is part of the Nineness family. (novile, binovile, etc)
And DH and LH have a Pluto Square Pluto synastry.
Following on from your comments, Marjorie, I wondered if LH’s chart showed her possessiveness of her son to be ‘selfish’ ie. she can only think about herself; or more to do with her own emotional neediness and inner emptiness – you mentioned her chaotic temperament? Is that possible to discern in someone’s chart? Also with his ascendant in Cancer wouldn’t it make DH more likely to tune into his mother’s inner state? If so it would take a lot of work for him to separate from that ‘soup.’
She has no birth time so some info missing. But she has seven planets in highly strung, restless Mutable including Gemini Sun and Mars Uranus Pluto in Virgo + Saturn which makes for a chaotic mix. More than his Cancer Ascendant drawing him into her issues is his Moon Chiron. He will tune into the ‘wounded’ mother and mother issues become his wound.
She has a Scorpio Moon maybe conjunct Neptune – and if it does then she will lack good psychological/emotional boundaries so will more easily draw him in.
Symbiotic relationships are not just possessive but indicate a lack of differentiation between self and others. To a degree where in Jungian terms the contents of one’s personal unconscious are experienced in another person.
Underlying this seemingly perfect togetherness is a reservoir of anger since the healthy urge to separate is always driven by assertion/anger and that is being blocked.
@ Saborg One angle to consider is her volatility and inability, for whatever reasons, to form long term, stable relationships, so her son has become the man of the house.
Doesn’t his Capricorn moon also suggest a particular attachment to mother?
Sounds very icky to me…
Marjorie (or anyone else), about the 10th house Sun – ‘an individual destined to live out their mother’s ambitions,’ to what degree do you think a person’s conscious awareness of this might change it?
If someone with a 10th house Sun becomes truly conscious of the degree to which their mother is trying to live through them, presumably that would change the destiny/direction?
My understanding is:
It is mother’s job to reflect back to baby who she/he is, thereby promoting the growth of a strong sense of personal identity. If what mother reflects instead is herself then you have a baby/child/adult who has never had any indication of who they really are. Inside where there should be a sense of self there is an empty space. Approaching that inner void is extremely scary from a psychological point of view and most often avoided.
So it isn’t a ‘simple’ process of separating from a possessive mother, it is a back-to-square-one process, presumably in therapy of having someone else reflect back and therefore foster the growth of a sense of self.
Thanks Marjorie, that’s very interesting.
So – if it is okay to ask this (if not, please ignore) – when you see a client with a 10th house Sun, do you assume caution, as in, whatever path the 10th house Sun seems to indicate, that may well be a distorted view i.e. NOT the client’s ‘true self’ or ‘true calling’ at all?
I usually approach with caution having been rebuffed early in my consulting career by totally blank looks from 10th house Sun clients. They genuinely had no idea what I was driving at. Which is different from Moon Pluto individuals who are always aware of having a smothering, controlling, possessive mother and are usually happy to talk about their experiences.
10th house Suns are not necessarily narcissistic but there is the same resistance to going anywhere near their empty centre which can feel like psychic implosion.
I am not sure it is as simple as mom wanted me to be a doctor and really I want to be a painter. If you have a 10th house Sun you are designed for a public career where you can attract attention and an audience. But there is often a sense of never being able to enjoy the success since that really belongs to mother. It’s complicated.
Can I ask one more question? Please ignore or delete this if it’s beyond the scope of this blog:
“Inside where there should be a sense of self there is an empty space.”
There are a lot of spiritual paths around (e.g. non-duality) which emphasise that the ‘self’ is an elaborate and very convincing illusion.
Sometimes I wonder whether a person needs to have a really solid sense of personal self and identity BEFORE they can start to walk that path of recognising that the self is an illusion. Is it possible that immersing oneself in some spiritual paths could simply reinforce or prolong that sense of ‘empty space’ that you describe? (especially for 10th house Sun people).
A wise Buddhist analyst once told me that you have to find the self before you can truly experience the emptiness of which the Buddha speaks.
The emptiness is not that of damage.
But never wise in my experience to muddle up systems of belief since they often use the same words and mean something different.
This is well written and explained. I am a Moon Chiron male with a Narc mother. I’ve lived this. I had no money for therapy – so it was all self help books. It really is back to square one, self-parenting stuff. Thanks for this writing, it’s reassuring to have what one has lived reframed in this manner.
I wish DH well. It’s not an easy road.
The problem is she treats him as her gay best friend instead of as her son. Those apron strings are very icky indeed. More like an ancient Greek play. The kind where the God’s take their revenge.
I was very close to my mum, but she was a mum in the traditional sense of the word, I had two sisters no need for more and she never smothered. I think it is a bit odd but than show biz people can be.
Seems weird to me